A Dark Sense of Humor

I've heard that it's healthy if you can make jokes about your problems. I don't remember where I heard that or what the reasoning behind it is, but it seems to be true enough to me. Maybe I just have a dark sense of humor, but it's always been an effective way to bring up or acknowledge the scary parts of having a heart condition. I know the jokes can make some people uncomfortable. Maybe they don't like talking about the scary stuff in life, or they tend to ignore the tough parts in general. Ignorance is bliss right? I'm not like that. I've developed a nasty habit of speaking my mind and talking about the things that bother me. I had a moment like that while I was on the phone with someone from the University of Michigan hospital today. I thought I'd share it.

Terry called early in the afternoon to talk about my little upcoming trip to Ann Arbor. She had some questions she needed to ask and she made herself available to answer any questions I might have as well about my upcoming surgery. One of her questions was, "Who is your cardiologist?" I didn't really know how to answer that one. I mean, I had a cardiologist growing up, but he's a pediatric cardiologist and seeing as I'm not longer considered a child (despite how I may act) I am no longer allowed to see him. Since we parted ways I have seen a few cardiologists for adults, but none of them have really seemed qualified to oversee my care and they didn't stick.

I'm a special kind of patient, perhaps in more ways than one, but most notably for the fact that I am an adult with congenital heart defects. Most adults who see a cardiologist do so because they have slowly developed a problem over time from things like smoking, eating poorly or lack of exercise. They are also usually much older. The first adult cardiologist I saw actually told me that I was his youngest patient by decades. I was 23 years old when he told me that.

Well, what I learned from Terry was that this is a fairly common problem for patients like me and that the  field of cardiology designed to handle patients like me is relatively new. Patients with congenital heart defects are not new, we've probably been around forever, but medicine and surgical techniques keep getting better and better. So, when Terry told me that there aren't a whole lot of cardiologists qualified to see me and that the field they belong to is fairly new I asked the question, "Is that because we're sticking around longer?" And we both had a pretty good laugh. And the reason the joke was funny is because the answer is yes! People like me are living longer all the time. In the not too distant past I would probably be dead by this age from heart failure, but thanks to modern medicine I get a shot at a normal life span. Having my heart condition is pretty scary at times, but that doesn't mean I can't celebrate a brighter looking future and that's exactly what that joke was about. It's my twisted way of getting excited about being alive.

After my joke Terry went on to tell me about a 64 year old patient who had a valve replacement earlier this week and I couldn't help but smile. I look forward to the day that I am a 64 year old heart patient. Maybe by then I'll have had enough time to develop a normal problem for my heart and I can get lectured on eating properly and staying active just like the regular heart patients.