Anything I Can Do, You Can Do Better

I am getting better every day, but there are a plethora of activities and actions that make me feel like an invalid on a regular basis. They are things that most people take for granted or would never think could be hard to do. Things like:

Standing up straight is practically impossible for me right now. All of the muscles in my chest and core area feel so tight that it's a stretch even trying to straighten my spine right now. The worst part of this problem is that my neck is constantly exhausted from holding up my gigantic head. My options are basically, let my chin rest on my chest and look at my feet all day or try to hold up my oversized melon and exhaust my neck muscles. So far I've been giving my neck the workout of its life, but staring at my feet is quickly becoming a more attractive option.

Raising my hands above my head is a downright painful endeavor once my hands get higher than my shoulders. The muscle tightness that keeps me from standing up straight also stops my arms from enjoying a full range of motion. The moral of this story is, if you want to hide something from me just put it on the top shelf. It's hard for me to look up there and it's impossible for me to grab anything that high.

Looking behind me is an entire body adventure. Because my neck is so sore and stiff it can only turn my head so far. I probably look like someone who should be in a neck brace any time I try to look around, especially since I have to turn my entire body around to see anything that isn't directly in front of me. So, if you put something behind me on a top shelf it has pretty much vanished from existence as far as I'm concerned.

Opening jars may be my biggest nemesis right now. My left hand is getting better, but it's still not as strong as it used to be and holding onto a jar is sometimes tough if it is big and full. If you add in my right hand trying to twist the top off it becomes so comical that even I laugh at myself. Not to mention the muscles involved in that twisting motion are still getting over the fact that they were cut apart about three weeks ago. So, if you really need to keep something from me put it in a jar on the top shelf behind me. I wouldn't even try. Putting a man on the moon was probably a less difficult task than getting that jar down and opening it would be for me.

Laughing, coughing and sneezing aren't technically difficult for me to do. I probably did all three yesterday, but they all make me feel like I'm exploding from the inside. If I have the time to find and hug a pillow to my chest they don't hurt at all, but I just don't carry one of those around with me 24 hours a day. I should probably just strap one to my chest so I'm always prepared. Or hire an assistant to follow me around with one.

Don't get me wrong I'm not saying I wish I hadn't had surgery so I wouldn't have to deal with any of these things. I meant this simply as an observation about everyday activities that are currently more difficult for me than the rest of you. I'd much rather deal with these inconveniences right now than be dead. I knew these were coming and I've handled them before. It was part of the deal when I signed up for surgery. I'm still going to whine about them though. I'm recovering from surgery and I'm allowed to whine a little bit, or a lot sometimes. The inconveniences do help keep me in line though. I can't push myself too hard or set my recovery back while these things are hard to do. I probably owe them a thanks for helping me maintain a slow and steady approach to healing. I mean, I'm not going to say thanks because the inconveniences suck, but I could if I were a bigger person.