This Is What My Insides Look Like!

The title of this article isn't totally accurate, it should probably read, "This Is What My Insides Will Look Like" because this post is dedicated to the amazing invention know as the mechanical valve. I have always wanted to be part robot and recently started giving the subject some serious thought and so I've decided to go ahead and mechanize at least a portion of my heart. It just seemed like the logical place to start. Most people opt for artificial knees or hips, but I wanted to stand out so I went with something a little less common (especially in people my age) and picked out a mechanical valve. The only problem is once I get it I'm kind of stuck with it. So, I've been doing some research.

I wish this was just something I had decided to do because then everyone I know could talk me out of this foolishness. Unfortunately, it's more of a do this or die decision, but you know what? I'm going to make the most of this and embrace my new mechanical bits. First, let's take a look at what my heart looks like right now and talk about why it's bad and why I need to get it fixed. Here is a picture of a prolapsed valve:

This is a picture of the mitral valve, I have a problem with my aortic valve, but prolapse for either one looks pretty much the same and this is the best picture of that condition I could find. Technically speaking, I am suffering from aortic valve insufficiency. Simply put, this means that the valve isn't functioning properly. Instead of closing the valve is folding back into the heart and blood that was pumped out is flowing backwards into the heart again instead of out into my body. This has lead to my heart dilating, or growing in size, because it's working harder to get the same amount of blood out into my body. If my heart increases in size enough it will eventually start to fail. It's an easy problem to fix though, all I need is a valve that closes and doesn't leak and all the bad things stop immediately. This is where the mechanical valve comes into play.

Let's take a look at a few examples of mechanical valves:

From top to bottom these are a caged ball valve, a tilting disc valve and a bi-leaflet valve. I will be getting one that looks most like the bi-leaflet valve. The other two are older designs. They are less efficient, more dangerous and not really used anymore. For you history buffs, the caged ball design was introduced in the 1950s and was the first successful mechanical valve implanted in a human. The tilting disc design followed in the 60s but was pulled from the market after a number of them broke while inside patients. The bi-leaflet design was introduced at the end of the 1970s and according to the information I've found is still the most popular design today. It has been improved upon in a couple of ways with better materials and a more efficient design, but overall it's the same concept. I'm very interested to find out if I'll be able to hear it opening and closing when I'm quiet. I may tick when this is over.

Mechanical valves are very safe today. The only real risk they come with is the chance that they might develop a clot. If a blood clot were to build up and break free from a mechanical valve it could lead to a heart attack or stroke. I'm not interested in having either one of those, so I will be joining everyone else with a mechanical valve and take a drug called Coumadin, or Warfarin. It's commonly known as a blood thinner, but it's actually an anticoagulant. The goal of the medication isn't to thin your blood, but to increase the amount of time it takes to coagulate. That way the blood doesn't have enough time to form clots around the mechanical valve. It's pushed on before it can start.

The downside of Coumadin is that I will have to be careful about bleeding. If I ever start to bleed heavily I probably won't be able to stop it on my own, I'll need to go to the hospital. There is also a greater chance of internal bleeding. That's the hazard I will need to be most careful of. If I get a big gash that starts throwing blood around like a Friday the 13th movie it'll be pretty obvious I need to go to the hospital, but I can't really see internal bleeding. I've already come up with a solution to this though, I just won't fall down again. Ever! Problem solved!